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There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Marriage
Politics
Lying
Two
Things

More quotes by Bill Maher

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Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone. This is also why we love TV shows and movies that neatly wrap up everything in exactly an hour or two.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
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You can't lie to kids about drugs. They know about drugs. You can't say they're just all bad. They know life is a little more complicated. I have never done heroin. I would never recommend heroin, but it hasn't hurt my record collection.
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Have you ever met a war you didn't love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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A cult is a cult, and that's what a frat is. A place where they strip you of your personality and rebuild it in their image.
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There's a new iPad out...People are going nuts for this thing...And, today, Mitt Romney said, 'It's a flat piece of white plastic. If you can love it, why not me?'
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Death is nature's way of killing you.
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Disneyland's a mess. And it's not just the measles. Donald Duck has bird flu. Pocahontas has small pox. The Little Mermaid has crabs. And the Monorail? Mono.
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Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.
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The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
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I was out at the HBO party, these are liberals, I imagine, and a lot of people came up to me and said, Keep giving it to the president.
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I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
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The great thing about having been poor is how liberated it makes you if you eventually become rich. There's nothing like the knowledge that you don't need money to survive. That the money cushion you lie on every night doesn't have to be three feet thick, and you can still get to sleep.
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In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.
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The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody in the media cheats off The New York Times.
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The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn't sound like the America I know.
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There's a word the teabaggers have wanted to use since Obama came on the scene, but they can't because it's not the 1950s. They would love to say this word. It begins with an N and ends with -er, and it's not nation-builder.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
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Don't you miss the days when America was just morally bankrupt?
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