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There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Marriage
Politics
Lying
Two
Things
More quotes by Bill Maher
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies.
Bill Maher
I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to Al-Quaeda, we want to know what it's about,' it just proves one thing: If you're president long enough, you will one day say something that is true.
Bill Maher
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.
Bill Maher
Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard any politician say. She said, 'The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.' You think she realizes that nuking Russia might not be good for someone who can see Russia from her house?
Bill Maher
To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.
Bill Maher
Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.
Bill Maher
Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn't know a game is going on?
Bill Maher
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
Bill Maher
It's all been satirized for your protection.
Bill Maher
I love trains. It's the only way to travel anymore where it doesn't involve a TSA agent slowly tracing the curve of my inner thigh.
Bill Maher
To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge to the people out there that you put your faith in things that are unable to be proven - that you suspend critical thinking as the way to go.
Bill Maher
The politicians are no prizes, but the people are even worse, they're so ill-informed. I never understand the pushback when I say people are stupid.
Bill Maher
Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'
Bill Maher
Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't vie CBS an idea for another reality show.
Bill Maher
Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.
Bill Maher
The other guys are selling certainty. Not me. I'm on the corner with doubt.
Bill Maher
The electricity is back on in Baghdad. That is a very climactic moment in any country's liberation, when the lights come back on and you get a good look at what you looted.
Bill Maher
Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher
People like the Mormons and the Scientologists, who I think should combine and make a Mormontologist because what they believe is just so out there it's just laughable.
Bill Maher
How can the Republicans get away with picking their Dennis Kucinich, but when - if the Democrats tried it, all hell would break lose?
Bill Maher