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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Pants
Bigs
Women
Littles
Ideas
Little

More quotes by Bill Maher

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Obama has had more fundraisers than the last six presidents combined. And he's still losing in the money race!
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I hear a lot of talk today about xenophobia. Is it really phobia if you have something to be afraid of?
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Sometimes I'm dragging my ass out to the airport at 8 a.m. on a Saturday and I'm wondering why I'm doing this, but once I walk on stage I know why...because I'm addicted.
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The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.
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Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.
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A cult is a cult, and that's what a frat is. A place where they strip you of your personality and rebuild it in their image.
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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It's been over a year since they've graduated, but neither of the Bush twins have found any work. Why don't they sign up (for military service in Iraq)? Do they hate America, or just freedom in general?
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I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.
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Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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I think we need to change that old saying, I don't need a building to fall on me. Because two did and we still don't get it. I think we all stick our head in the sand as a deep human impulse.
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In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things.
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Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.
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Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.
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Donald Trump announced he got his own segment every Monday morning on Fox News. Just what Fox News needs - another blonde airhead.
Bill Maher
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The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.
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I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.
Bill Maher
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Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of body builders.
Bill Maher
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Eric Holder, our attorney general, says the Mr. Snowden will be brought to justice. Just as soon as we can find someone who can track his calls and read his emails.
Bill Maher
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Just honest. To me, being 'politically incorrect' means the opposite of being political -- which means to spin everything. That's all it's ever meant to me. It's never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
Bill Maher