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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Spend
Cause
Millions
Causes
Trying
Donating
Worthless
Democrats
Democrat
More quotes by Bill Maher
Do you want to know why marijuana is illegal? Because the drug companies want marijuana to be illegal. You see, if it came down to Prozak versus Marijuana, Prozak would lose.
Bill Maher
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
Bill Maher
There's a phrase we live by in America: In God We Trust. It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
Bill Maher
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Bill Maher
I'm okay with it now that Obama’s in office. I'm kind of trusting of him. But President Ted Cruz? Where this is going would bother me.
Bill Maher
I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good... They've midwived a lot of good ideas... lot of great songs, you know? I think Penny Lane is worth 10 dead kids... I think Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. There, I said it.
Bill Maher
I always compare marriage to communism. They're both institutions that don't conform to human nature, so you're going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
Bill Maher
I doubt anything will really come of this lawsuit. First of all, it's a lawsuit. It involves a subpoena. And try to find a Republican who will be willing to be seen serving a black man.
Bill Maher
One of the reasons I still do stand-up is because it was so hard in the beginning that I feel like it would be such a shame not to redeem it that it's all fun.
Bill Maher
My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!
Bill Maher
I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.
Bill Maher
This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
Bill Maher
I'd just like to know what a cop WOULD have to do to get indicted - and what good are cop cameras since Eric Garner IS on tape?
Bill Maher
Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
Bill Maher
Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of body builders.
Bill Maher
Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't vie CBS an idea for another reality show.
Bill Maher
Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic.
Bill Maher
Clint Eastwood's speech was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican Party: A confused old person yelling at something that doesn't exist.
Bill Maher
A flu shot just compromises your immune system.
Bill Maher
[George W. Bush] has balls. And he's a leader. Unfortunately his balls and leadership are in the service of shitty ideas. We need his balls on someone who thinks right.
Bill Maher