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So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Drug
Days
Almost
Puppies
Kids
Addicts
Many
Puppy
Addict
Rush
Fats

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There's a phrase we live by in America: In God We Trust. It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
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I don't do heroin myself, but it's done wonders for my music collection.
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Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't vie CBS an idea for another reality show.
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A lot of people say they are dyslexic some have to realize that they are just stupid.
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Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
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Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion budget deficit, without cutting spending or raising taxes because there was a third way. What is it? Let's just say it involves a robot going back in time to convince Gray Davis to go into dentistry.
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Gingrich is the foremost intellectual in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in Kiss.
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I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting who would vote for me?
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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The media is all over this Oui interview that Arnold did 25 years ago. Now, he's admitted he smoked pot, had group sex and didn't mind dating a girl that was out of shape and kind of fat if she satisfied him sexually. So, his handlers have stopped comparing him to Reagan and started comparing him to Clinton.
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McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000 worth of clothes and jewelry on, no matter to the party of the little guy. But Cindy McCain talked about how his character, honor and integrity made him the exact kind of married man she was looking to pick up at a bar.
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Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage.
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How can the Republicans get away with picking their Dennis Kucinich, but when - if the Democrats tried it, all hell would break lose?
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Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic.
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Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
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It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.
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Herman Cain answered the Wall Street protesters, and he had a message for these protesters. He said, 'If you don't have a job, if you're not rich, don't blame Wall Street, don't blame the banks, blame yourself.' And a nation of out of work teabaggers said, 'Yeah! Hey, wait a minute.'
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