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Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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Plan
Asked
Plans
Week
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Last
Future
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Lost
Donald
More quotes by Bill Maher
Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
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I hear a lot of talk today about xenophobia. Is it really phobia if you have something to be afraid of?
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The food is out of this world!
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don't call him stupid because they don't agree with you politically.
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Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying that I believe in that, I'm just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I'm not a 'Wifer' but for some reason he's never shown his original marriage certificate.
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We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
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There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater.
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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
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Gingrich is the foremost intellectual in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in Kiss.
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If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
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In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
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Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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If anybody is so mad at Vladimir Putin, you know what they could do? They could advocate for a gas tax. He gets all his leverage from selling gas and oil. If we had a gas tax that made that less palatable, he would be less of a player on the world stage.
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During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist.
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A flu shot is the worst thing you can do.
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The public is gullible. ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth.
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