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Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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Lost
Donald

More quotes by Bill Maher

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McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000 worth of clothes and jewelry on, no matter to the party of the little guy. But Cindy McCain talked about how his character, honor and integrity made him the exact kind of married man she was looking to pick up at a bar.
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Only a Bush could answer a 'yes' or 'no' question two different ways and be wrong both times.
Bill Maher
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I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.
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Osama bin Laden put out a new video. The timing of this video has some people upset, three days before we vote. It looks like he's trying to influence the election. And I'll tell you, it's not going to work. Americans know Osama bin Laden does not pick our president. The Supreme Court does.
Bill Maher
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I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.
Bill Maher
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Stop saying athletes do it for the love of the game. They do it for the love of their 32-room mansion with the live shark tank in the living room. If pro sports paid minimum wage, Shaquille O'Neal would be a bouncer at Scores, and Anna Kournikova would be a mail-order bride from Minsk.
Bill Maher
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Only cowards push a button from thousands of miles away, or tens of thousands of feet up, to kill people who can't possibly fight back.
Bill Maher
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We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
Bill Maher
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The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other's asses.
Bill Maher
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Glenn Beck retired or got fired...and a lot of people are asking who will now speak for the raving lunatics who startle you outside of a parking garage?
Bill Maher
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
Bill Maher
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Tt just seems to be human nature to seem to want to posit in another human being, qualities that you must know, in part of your mind, that human being couldn't possess because you don't possess.
Bill Maher
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In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of gay people in the Vatican, wouldn't there be a greater outcry among liberals?
Bill Maher
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Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Bill Maher
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If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane.
Bill Maher
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In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things.
Bill Maher
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How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New York State by saying, 'I read books and make a mean vegan meatloaf.'
Bill Maher
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I'm a pessimist by nature. A pot head, but a pessimist.
Bill Maher
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A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors and scrutinized its citizens' everyday existence. And then they excused themselves to go watch Big Brother.
Bill Maher
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Just be happy that something traveled 5,000 miles across the Pacific and, for once, it wasn't your job.
Bill Maher