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I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting who would vote for me?

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Thinking
Couldn
Office
Baby
Religion
Running
Babies
Good
Disgusting
Would
Weed
Think
Vote

More quotes by Bill Maher

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Officials believe that one of the terrorists was a woman. And there are female suicide bombers. It's just that their reward in paradise is a little different. Instead of getting 72 virgins, they get 72 guys who just listen.
Bill Maher
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Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.
Bill Maher
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It's that time of year again, April 15, taxes. I know it's depressing, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army to keep the nation free. Unfortunately that nation is Afghanistan.
Bill Maher
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This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
Bill Maher
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The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.
Bill Maher
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Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to say, 'You know what? You yokels stop talking about defaulting on the debt, because I'm going to lose a fortune!'
Bill Maher
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Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual in the priesthood it'll just go away. Maybe I'll try it with the Republican Party.
Bill Maher
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They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
Bill Maher
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New polls show that Obama is now pulling away from Mitt Romney. And, of course, what could be more natural than to see Mitt Romney and pull away?
Bill Maher
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
Bill Maher
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New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of every man for himself doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.
Bill Maher
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Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion budget deficit, without cutting spending or raising taxes because there was a third way. What is it? Let's just say it involves a robot going back in time to convince Gray Davis to go into dentistry.
Bill Maher
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Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover.
Bill Maher
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Amazon has included me in an opportunity to provide top-shelf television-style programming live on the world's computer screens. To hold forth with the industry's very best actors, directors, musicians, authors - I'm thrilled to be on the cutting edge of this.
Bill Maher
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Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can`t all marry Liza Minnelli.
Bill Maher
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Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.
Bill Maher
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Eunice Kennedy Shriver, President Kennedy's sister, endorsed Arnold Schwarzenegger, said he's not a womanizer. Of course by Kennedy standards that means he never drove one off a bridge.
Bill Maher
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Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
Bill Maher
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Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.
Bill Maher
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Glenn Beck retired or got fired...and a lot of people are asking who will now speak for the raving lunatics who startle you outside of a parking garage?
Bill Maher