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I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting who would vote for me?

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Would
Weed
Think
Vote
Thinking
Couldn
Office
Baby
Religion
Running
Babies
Good
Disgusting

More quotes by Bill Maher

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I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
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Have you ever met a war you didn't love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality.
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The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was 'collecting his thoughts.' What a time to start a new hobby.'
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You can’t be a rational person six days a week and on one day of the week, go to a building, and think you are drinking the blood of a two thousand year old space god. That doesn’t make you a person of faith…, that makes you a schizophrenic.
Bill Maher
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Disneyland's a mess. And it's not just the measles. Donald Duck has bird flu. Pocahontas has small pox. The Little Mermaid has crabs. And the Monorail? Mono.
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you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
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It just seems like atheists are not included in the basket of diversity in America, which is odd because we are the biggest minority. That is a bigger minority than any other minority you can name.
Bill Maher
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Your taxes are due a week from today. You can make out your check directly to Halliburton. Or you can do what I'm going to do. I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'
Bill Maher
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In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things.
Bill Maher
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I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.
Bill Maher
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Since the Icelandic volcano obviously needs a virgin sacrifice and the Catholic Church obviously needs new leadership the Pope must volunteer to jump in the volcano. Pontiff, don't think of it as endorsing paganism, think of it as supersizing Ash Wednesday.
Bill Maher
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
Bill Maher
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I never hear terrorists say 'Merry Christmas,' only 'Allahu Akbar'.
Bill Maher
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Newt Gingrich...is absolutely for bombing Iran and for lowering gas prices. And I've just to say, you can't be for both. They are diametrically opposed.
Bill Maher
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Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth control.
Bill Maher
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Recently, there's been a trend in America that I find very disturbing... rewarding immoral and illegal behavior...For example, we now give free needles to junkies, which seems to me to be only a step away from giving condoms to rapists.
Bill Maher
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Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you
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I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.
Bill Maher