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You'd know if I was the de-facto leader of the Democratic Party, because you'd go down to Walgreen's and buy a pack of blunts.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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Democratic
Leader
Party
Blunts
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More quotes by Bill Maher

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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don't call him stupid because they don't agree with you politically.
Bill Maher
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A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond to this and said, ‘It is appalling that Obama spent his teenage years goofing around and smoking pot when he should have been pinning down gay kids and cutting their hair.
Bill Maher
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Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?
Bill Maher
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
Bill Maher
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The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
Bill Maher
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I don't say that I'm an atheist. I don't like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don't know. And if you don't know - and you don't - just man up and say you don't know. Don't turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
Bill Maher
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
Bill Maher
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Clint Eastwood's speech was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican Party: A confused old person yelling at something that doesn't exist.
Bill Maher
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
Bill Maher
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I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.
Bill Maher
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In Republican fantasy world, everything is always Obama's fault. Somehow, he's weak and he's ineffective, and yet he pulls the strings on everything in the world.
Bill Maher
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How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New York State by saying, 'I read books and make a mean vegan meatloaf.'
Bill Maher
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To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't be destroyed, then implant one in your uterus and bring it to term. That's right, put your cervix where your mouth is.
Bill Maher
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Treason is when legislators vote against homeland security measures because it goes against the wishes of their political or financial backers. Treason is the fact that, as a terrorist, you could still buy a gun in this country because the NRA lobby is so strong.
Bill Maher
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If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it proactive intelligence screening or high alert detecting, people would be saying Well, it's about time.
Bill Maher
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Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
Bill Maher
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Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.
Bill Maher
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We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
Bill Maher
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You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.
Bill Maher
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I urge the media to start referring to climate skeptics as what they really are: climate assholes.
Bill Maher