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There's a new iPad out...People are going nuts for this thing...And, today, Mitt Romney said, 'It's a flat piece of white plastic. If you can love it, why not me?'

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
People
Nuts
Piece
Ipad
Pieces
Ipads
White
Mitt
Today
Romney
Thing
Flat
Going
Flats
Love
Plastic

More quotes by Bill Maher

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If you're living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and tax increases, then you're not being kept down by the rich. You're being kept down by you.
Bill Maher
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
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Love does not conquer all.
Bill Maher
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If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.
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Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white people, and if you had to have sex with them it would be over in an excruciating three minutes. It's just, - and from the headlines of the past year I gather the only sex they're really good at, is gay sex. Really.
Bill Maher
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Community is gathering around a fire and listening to someone tell a story.
Bill Maher
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You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.
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We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
Bill Maher
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The Republican Party is like the corpse in 'Weekend at Bernies' and the Tea Party is like the two guys who put sunglasses and a party hat on it and drag it around.
Bill Maher
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The people who got everything wrong are back on TV talking about the place they got all wrong? Cheney, Bill Kristol, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle. It's like Satan's VIP list for Hell.
Bill Maher
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end - and perhaps any day now - does it not drain one's motivation to improve life on earth while we're here?
Bill Maher
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Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone. This is also why we love TV shows and movies that neatly wrap up everything in exactly an hour or two.
Bill Maher
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Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.
Bill Maher
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Jesus is not a candle. A company in South Dakota is selling candles with the scent of Jesus. You light one and your friends says, Christ, what's that smell?
Bill Maher
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The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don`t know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign affairs very much, unless it comes right to their doorstep. They all learn history through wars. They learn geography through wars.
Bill Maher
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One of the reasons I still do stand-up is because it was so hard in the beginning that I feel like it would be such a shame not to redeem it that it's all fun.
Bill Maher
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
Bill Maher
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If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane.
Bill Maher
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Stand-up is great because I can get everything off my chest.
Bill Maher
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Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you
Bill Maher