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I love the Tea Party. They are the ultimate beer goggles. They make everything look better.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Party
Better
Look
Everything
Looks
Goggles
Make
Tea
Love
Beer
Ultimate

More quotes by Bill Maher

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I hear a lot of talk today about xenophobia. Is it really phobia if you have something to be afraid of?
Bill Maher
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John McCain, who once called Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson 'forces of evil', has now come out for teaching intelligent design. That is sad, when smart people have to pretend to be so dumb to get elected.
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Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex.
Bill Maher
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I said I didn't respect religion... and anyone who believes in fairy tales to answer questions that we can't answer... So I don't respect our religions either. But I do believe it is a clash of civilizations, absolutely, between the Islamic world and the Western world. It has been going on for 1,000 years.
Bill Maher
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Nobody in America who wants pot has any trouble getting it, so maybe that's why we aren't seeing support for legalization. People don't think it's necessary to legalize it, because it's so easy to get it.
Bill Maher
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I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit.
Bill Maher
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The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
Bill Maher
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Your taxes are due a week from today. You can make out your check directly to Halliburton. Or you can do what I'm going to do. I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'
Bill Maher
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The idea that I hear from the right wing in the last few decades, is that any sort of sacrifice is an affront to my liberty as an American to be a pig the way I want to.
Bill Maher
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Stop saying athletes do it for the love of the game. They do it for the love of their 32-room mansion with the live shark tank in the living room. If pro sports paid minimum wage, Shaquille O'Neal would be a bouncer at Scores, and Anna Kournikova would be a mail-order bride from Minsk.
Bill Maher
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All I'm saying, as a fan, is I'm tired of the same song for 30 years. Can't we change the message a little? You've arrived. You have a black president. Every white guy in a commercial doesn't have to be the idiot and every black guy in a rap song doesn't have to be God's gift to the world.
Bill Maher
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The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
Bill Maher
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You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.
Bill Maher
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What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down, but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally.
Bill Maher
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Donald Trump announced he got his own segment every Monday morning on Fox News. Just what Fox News needs - another blonde airhead.
Bill Maher
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Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortions to back alleys where it belongs, my work here is done.' I think that's what he said, he was chewing a crayon.
Bill Maher
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If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.
Bill Maher
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
Bill Maher
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We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies.
Bill Maher
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Love does not conquer all.
Bill Maher