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Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Problem
Texas
Today
Drinking
People
Using
Dog
Problems
Toilet
Water
Toilets
White
Considering
Fall
Falls
More quotes by Bill Maher
Let us not become so tolerant that we tolerate intolerance.
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I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?
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The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It's like a septic tank saying, 'You need a mint.'
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Talk to women who've ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
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Have you ever met a war you didn't love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to say, 'You know what? You yokels stop talking about defaulting on the debt, because I'm going to lose a fortune!'
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I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?
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Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
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I'd just like to know what a cop WOULD have to do to get indicted - and what good are cop cameras since Eric Garner IS on tape?
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I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.
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We don't do sensible things. This is America.
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I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant population, but they said they're happy to come home anyway.
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Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. We'll try to get you work. But don't bug us about it.
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There's a phrase we live by in America: In God We Trust. It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater.
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Clint Eastwood's speech was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican Party: A confused old person yelling at something that doesn't exist.
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A flu shot is the worst thing you can do.
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Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.
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