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You can behead people, you can crucify them, you can cut their hearts out and eat them on YouTube...but, don't screw with the place where God hid America's oil.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Heart
Crucify
People
Screw
Screws
Oil
Hearts
Cutting
Place
America
Behead
More quotes by Bill Maher
As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
Bill Maher
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, 'I want to help you get teeth.' Why does that make me an a**hole?
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Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
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We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies.
Bill Maher
It was quite a sight to see Obama next to President Hu. Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize in his basement, and Hu has a Nobel Peace Prize winner in his.
Bill Maher
People say to me all the time, I get my news from your show. And that isn't the way they should get their news. But the choice is not between getting their news the right way and getting their news from my show. The choice is that they won't get any at all unless you give it to them in an entertaining package.
Bill Maher
I think what's dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
Bill Maher
Religion is bad and drugs are good.
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I believe only foreigners should run for president...Face it, the presidency is a lousy job. And who does lousy jobs we don't want anymore better than foreigners?
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you'll wind up with a lover.
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New rule: If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in. I'll use the fire department I pay for. You can pray for rain.
Bill Maher
That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.
Bill Maher
Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting him in context.
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Why can't God just defeat the devil and get rid of evil? It's the same reason the comic book character can't get rid of his nemesis then there's no story.
Bill Maher
It's all been satirized for your protection.
Bill Maher
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
Bill Maher
America is like a dog. I'm sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can't actually explain issues to a dog.
Bill Maher
Eell there always is a tendency in human nature to deify.
Bill Maher
I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?
Bill Maher
Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
Bill Maher