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I believe only foreigners should run for president...Face it, the presidency is a lousy job. And who does lousy jobs we don't want anymore better than foreigners?

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Face
Faces
President
Jobs
Running
Lousy
Doe
Foreigners
Better
Presidency
Believe
Anymore

More quotes by Bill Maher

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All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people to get worked up like that is to threaten to give them health care.
Bill Maher
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Being a conservative also used to involve the concept of people being free to do whatever they want to do, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. Conservatives used to be very libertarian.
Bill Maher
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I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white people! I want to see this guy!
Bill Maher
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Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.
Bill Maher
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Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?
Bill Maher
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It's been over a year since they've graduated, but neither of the Bush twins have found any work. Why don't they sign up (for military service in Iraq)? Do they hate America, or just freedom in general?
Bill Maher
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I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?
Bill Maher
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Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under.
Bill Maher
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher
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I'm worried about a permanent Republican majority. That's what I'm worried about for the future.
Bill Maher
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There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'
Bill Maher
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I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher
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Stand-up is great because I can get everything off my chest.
Bill Maher
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If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.
Bill Maher
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Obama is huge in the polls these days. His popularity is soaring. Even conservatives are coming around. 30 percent of them now believe Obama deserves a Green Card.
Bill Maher
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Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about.
Bill Maher
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Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't vie CBS an idea for another reality show.
Bill Maher
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Next week John Boehner will be sitting behind Barack Obama at the State of the Union address. I think Obama should purposely try to embarrass him by telling the story of 'Old Yeller.' The state of our Union is strong, but not so good for one special dog.'
Bill Maher
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New polls show that Obama is now pulling away from Mitt Romney. And, of course, what could be more natural than to see Mitt Romney and pull away?
Bill Maher
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But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?
Bill Maher