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New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: We go beyond the headlines. That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, We land our jets on the runway!

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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Jets
Stop
Phrases
Airlines
American
Using
Dummy
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Rule
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News
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Beyond
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Organizations

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The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
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But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?
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I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
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I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.
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I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.
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Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.
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When we make mistakes they call it evil
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As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.
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I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?
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The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other's asses.
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I don't respect religon. I don't respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
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In Republican fantasy world, everything is always Obama's fault. Somehow, he's weak and he's ineffective, and yet he pulls the strings on everything in the world.
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Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding.
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Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about...Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings, who don't have all the answers, to think that they do.
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If a President must constantly remind the people that we're at war, then we're not.
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That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight champion of my life.” Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car.
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