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I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Think
Voting
Thinking
Cancer
People
Fun
Causes
Less
Young
America
Longevity
Important
Discouraged

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The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.
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What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I'm not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they're anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they're anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they're super Christian, they're a witch.
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I said I didn't respect religion... and anyone who believes in fairy tales to answer questions that we can't answer... So I don't respect our religions either. But I do believe it is a clash of civilizations, absolutely, between the Islamic world and the Western world. It has been going on for 1,000 years.
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I hear a lot of talk today about xenophobia. Is it really phobia if you have something to be afraid of?
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If the bible myth of Jonah in the whale and the Mother Goose myth of Jack and the Beanstalk were switched at birth so that Jack in the Beanstalk were in the bible, do you think any child would notice?
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Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'
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Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
Bill Maher
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I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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It's been over a year since they've graduated, but neither of the Bush twins have found any work. Why don't they sign up (for military service in Iraq)? Do they hate America, or just freedom in general?
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Osama bin Laden put out a new video. The timing of this video has some people upset, three days before we vote. It looks like he's trying to influence the election. And I'll tell you, it's not going to work. Americans know Osama bin Laden does not pick our president. The Supreme Court does.
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Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone. This is also why we love TV shows and movies that neatly wrap up everything in exactly an hour or two.
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I think we need to change that old saying, I don't need a building to fall on me. Because two did and we still don't get it. I think we all stick our head in the sand as a deep human impulse.
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You know, the only place in America where the millionaires and billionaires are predominantly liberal is here in Hollywood.
Bill Maher
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How can the Republicans get away with picking their Dennis Kucinich, but when - if the Democrats tried it, all hell would break lose?
Bill Maher
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Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out against gay marriage. He said marriage is a sacred union between a groupie and any number of body builders.
Bill Maher
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What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down, but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally.
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I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
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Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting him in context.
Bill Maher
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Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him.
Bill Maher