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Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average American. He unveiled his slogan this week: 'Are you better off than you were four wives ago?'
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Better
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More quotes by Bill Maher
The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn't sound like the America I know.
Bill Maher
People say to me all the time, I get my news from your show. And that isn't the way they should get their news. But the choice is not between getting their news the right way and getting their news from my show. The choice is that they won't get any at all unless you give it to them in an entertaining package.
Bill Maher
Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
Bill Maher
What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie.
Bill Maher
Mitt Romney, who is on record saying that he would not waste money going after bin Laden, and on record saying he would not violate Pakistan's border to get bin Laden, this week said, 'Of course I would have gotten bin Laden.' Even his Etch-A-Sketch went, seriously?
Bill Maher
Religion is bad and drugs are good.
Bill Maher
I said I didn't respect religion... and anyone who believes in fairy tales to answer questions that we can't answer... So I don't respect our religions either. But I do believe it is a clash of civilizations, absolutely, between the Islamic world and the Western world. It has been going on for 1,000 years.
Bill Maher
I think the news people no longer have any idea of what covering the news is.
Bill Maher
Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn't know a game is going on?
Bill Maher
A cult is a cult, and that's what a frat is. A place where they strip you of your personality and rebuild it in their image.
Bill Maher
It just seems like the culture war is over, and the gay kissers won.
Bill Maher
We don't do sensible things. This is America.
Bill Maher
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
Bill Maher
The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.
Bill Maher
The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It's like a septic tank saying, 'You need a mint.'
Bill Maher
You'd know if I was the de-facto leader of the Democratic Party, because you'd go down to Walgreen's and buy a pack of blunts.
Bill Maher
Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual in the priesthood it'll just go away. Maybe I'll try it with the Republican Party.
Bill Maher
Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
Bill Maher
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he'd have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
Bill Maher
I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good... They've midwived a lot of good ideas... lot of great songs, you know? I think Penny Lane is worth 10 dead kids... I think Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. There, I said it.
Bill Maher
