Quote

F. Scott Fitzgerald has an indespensible quote: 'The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at once and still retain the ability to function'. Or, as I like to call it, 'O.J. killed his wife, and the police are corrupt.'

Bill Maher

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Two
Police
Scott
Stills
Rate
Retain
Still
Intelligence
Quote
Ideas
Function
Corrupt
Firsts
Hold
Opposed
First
Wife
Killed
Mind
Call
Test
Like
Ability
Tests
Fitzgerald

More quotes by Bill Maher

Image
This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car.
Bill Maher
Image
Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Bill Maher
Image
It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.
Bill Maher
Image
My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!
Bill Maher
Image
Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.
Bill Maher
Image
The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
Bill Maher
Image
To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge to the people out there that you put your faith in things that are unable to be proven - that you suspend critical thinking as the way to go.
Bill Maher
Image
If the bible myth of Jonah in the whale and the Mother Goose myth of Jack and the Beanstalk were switched at birth so that Jack in the Beanstalk were in the bible, do you think any child would notice?
Bill Maher
Image
Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
Bill Maher
Image
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Bill Maher
Image
Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.
Bill Maher
Image
Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can`t all marry Liza Minnelli.
Bill Maher
Image
Community is gathering around a fire and listening to someone tell a story.
Bill Maher
Image
I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?
Bill Maher
Image
I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
Bill Maher
Image
There's a word the teabaggers have wanted to use since Obama came on the scene, but they can't because it's not the 1950s. They would love to say this word. It begins with an N and ends with -er, and it's not nation-builder.
Bill Maher
Image
African American Congressman Bobby Rush wore a hoodie on the floor of Congress to make a point this week. And they threw him out. They said a hoodie is too scary for Congress. Too scary? Have you ever looked into Michele Bachmann's eyes?
Bill Maher
Image
Ronald Reagan basically legalized every illegal immigrant in this country. I just like to bring this up because every week I like to make Republican heads explode about how they love Ronald Reagan, but would despise everything he did.
Bill Maher
Image
The politicians are no prizes, but the people are even worse, they're so ill-informed. I never understand the pushback when I say people are stupid.
Bill Maher
Image
When consumers know things, they tend to make informed choices, and that could affect corporate profits. I'm sorry, but your right to know is always going to be outweighed by their right to hide it from you.
Bill Maher