Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton.
Bill Maher
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Blame
Clinton
Listen
Radios
Told
Duct
Ends
Portable
Doe
Rush
World
Tape
Radio
More quotes by Bill Maher
This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car.
Bill Maher
To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer to us as 'Irish relatives.'
Bill Maher
Government - they used to teach it in college. It's actually something you should study and learn and know how to do. The Republicans always run on the idea that government isn't very effective. Well, not the way you do it. But it can be effective.
Bill Maher
The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
Bill Maher
Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about.
Bill Maher
There's a new iPad out...People are going nuts for this thing...And, today, Mitt Romney said, 'It's a flat piece of white plastic. If you can love it, why not me?'
Bill Maher
I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.
Bill Maher
All I'm saying, as a fan, is I'm tired of the same song for 30 years. Can't we change the message a little? You've arrived. You have a black president. Every white guy in a commercial doesn't have to be the idiot and every black guy in a rap song doesn't have to be God's gift to the world.
Bill Maher
McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000 worth of clothes and jewelry on, no matter to the party of the little guy. But Cindy McCain talked about how his character, honor and integrity made him the exact kind of married man she was looking to pick up at a bar.
Bill Maher
I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people who are putting me on the air. I want to feel like I broke into the studio and took over and made them mad. If I'm not doing that, I'm not doing my job.
Bill Maher
Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America, except he has to show I.D. when he votes.
Bill Maher
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it's sexy but one thing that men never think is, Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.
Bill Maher
Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school.
Bill Maher
Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
Bill Maher
Stupidity is not another form of knowledge.
Bill Maher
I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.
Bill Maher
The unemployment rate is now at 9.2%, which is scary, because experts say 9.5 is the point at which people are desperate enough to consider Michele Bachmann.
Bill Maher
You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.
Bill Maher
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.
Bill Maher
Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don't pay attention.
Bill Maher