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They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Told
Duct
Ends
Portable
Doe
Rush
World
Tape
Radio
Blame
Clinton
Listen
Radios

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We don't do sensible things. This is America.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
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We've created over 200,000 jobs every month this year. Hasn't happened in 17 years. I guess my first question is, when do the Republicans stop calling it 'Obama's economy'?
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The car bomb was fertilizer, gasoline, fireworks and propane tanks...still safer than a Toyota.
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Catholicism has changed tremendously in recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.
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We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree that we want to encourage churches and children. I don't. I don't. That's my opinion. I don't want to encourage either churches or children, and it's a very bad idea to put them together.
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Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.
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Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover.
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I love the Tea Party. They are the ultimate beer goggles. They make everything look better.
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If nobody is clear on what you're protesting, it's not a protest. Thousands of people gathered in London this week to voice their disapproval of the G-20. Their basic message being, Stop all your globalizing and unite the world!
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If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.
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Don't you miss the days when America was just morally bankrupt?
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This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
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They are having a panel look into the intelligence failures in Iraq. It is a seven-person panel and it will include Senator John McCain, but the findings from this panel will not be issued until after the election. President Bush says the commission can go off and report back in a year, you know, the same way it works in the Texas National Guard.
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I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?
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Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.
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The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
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One of the reasons I still do stand-up is because it was so hard in the beginning that I feel like it would be such a shame not to redeem it that it's all fun.
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Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?
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