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I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Obama
Saying
Doe
Looks
Need
Needs
Believe
Like
Teleprompter
More quotes by Bill Maher
I'll clue you in on a secret: death is not the worst thing that could happen to you. I know we think that we are the first society ever to think that. It's not worse than dishonor it's not worse than losing your freedom its not worse than losing a sense of personal responsibility.
Bill Maher
Why can't God just defeat the devil and get rid of evil? It's the same reason the comic book character can't get rid of his nemesis then there's no story.
Bill Maher
The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick.
Bill Maher
Religion is insanity by consensus.
Bill Maher
One of the reasons I still do stand-up is because it was so hard in the beginning that I feel like it would be such a shame not to redeem it that it's all fun.
Bill Maher
Republicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and magic people. But convictions, nonetheless.
Bill Maher
I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same thing.
Bill Maher
If nobody is clear on what you're protesting, it's not a protest. Thousands of people gathered in London this week to voice their disapproval of the G-20. Their basic message being, Stop all your globalizing and unite the world!
Bill Maher
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
Bill Maher
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.
Bill Maher
The NYPD must stop acting like the only thing black people do is run from them and shoot at them. Believe it or not there are some black New Yorkers who won't run and can't shoot -- they're called the # Knicks .
Bill Maher
It just seems like atheists are not included in the basket of diversity in America, which is odd because we are the biggest minority. That is a bigger minority than any other minority you can name.
Bill Maher
Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't vie CBS an idea for another reality show.
Bill Maher
You can't get saved if you don't play.
Bill Maher
Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
Bill Maher
It's all been satirized for your protection.
Bill Maher
A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors and scrutinized its citizens' everyday existence. And then they excused themselves to go watch Big Brother.
Bill Maher
The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
Bill Maher
I never, ever in my life tried to be outrageous. I've only ever tried to say what was truly on my mind and not pull punches about it.
Bill Maher
New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.
Bill Maher
