Quote

I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?

Bill Maher

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Country
Way
World
Third
Thirds
Second
Stop
Understand

More quotes by Bill Maher

Image
March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'
Bill Maher
Image
I don't know if [Barack Obama] saw the latest religion survey, but almost a quarter of the country are Nones. I don't mean the ones who hit me on the knuckles with a ruler in Sunday School - I mean they put None for religion.
Bill Maher
Image
Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
Bill Maher
Image
The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.
Bill Maher
Image
That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.
Bill Maher
Image
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?
Bill Maher
Image
John Kerry is finding out that it is no fun to be the front runner, that's when you get all the heat. He had to deny internet rumors this week that he had Botox treatments. The Republicans say Kerry should have a clear, unfurrowed brow the old fashioned way by not giving a sh--.
Bill Maher
Image
We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree that we want to encourage churches and children. I don't. I don't. That's my opinion. I don't want to encourage either churches or children, and it's a very bad idea to put them together.
Bill Maher
Image
Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. We'll try to get you work. But don't bug us about it.
Bill Maher
Image
The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
Bill Maher
Image
A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead … Mitt Romney had to respond to this and said, ‘It is appalling that Obama spent his teenage years goofing around and smoking pot when he should have been pinning down gay kids and cutting their hair.
Bill Maher
Image
Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.
Bill Maher
Image
Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road... besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD.
Bill Maher
Image
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher
Image
When I was 5-years-old, I knew who Khrushchev was.
Bill Maher
Image
I don't do heroin myself, but it's done wonders for my music collection.
Bill Maher
Image
Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.
Bill Maher
Image
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
Bill Maher
Image
New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of every man for himself doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.
Bill Maher
Image
Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
Bill Maher