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I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
World
Third
Thirds
Second
Stop
Understand
Country
Way
More quotes by Bill Maher
To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer to us as 'Irish relatives.'
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When I was 5-years-old, I knew who Khrushchev was.
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It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.
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Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.
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During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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Death is the monster we all fear, yet with each day, we walk toward it, and can't help doing so we can't help but walk toward the one thing we're most trying to avoid.
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Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about.
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I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.
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The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick.
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Don't you miss the days when America was just morally bankrupt?
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Sometimes I'm dragging my ass out to the airport at 8 a.m. on a Saturday and I'm wondering why I'm doing this, but once I walk on stage I know why...because I'm addicted.
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I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
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If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
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Eell there always is a tendency in human nature to deify.
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Gingrich is the foremost intellectual in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in Kiss.
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
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Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth control.
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In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things.
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Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what's ruining this country.'
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Talk to women who've ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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