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Only a Bush could answer a 'yes' or 'no' question two different ways and be wrong both times.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Different
Bush
Way
Answer
Question
Answers
Ways
Wrong
Times
Two
More quotes by Bill Maher
I think Democrats are complacent. They think that Russia is going to save us. Bob Mueller is going to come in with a report.
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If you're living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and tax increases, then you're not being kept down by the rich. You're being kept down by you.
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The people who got everything wrong are back on TV talking about the place they got all wrong? Cheney, Bill Kristol, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle. It's like Satan's VIP list for Hell.
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The Tea Baggers, they're not a movement, they're a cult.... Cults tend to populate from within, encouraging members to have huge broods of children and to give them strange names, like Moonbeam, and Trig.
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Disneyland's a mess. And it's not just the measles. Donald Duck has bird flu. Pocahontas has small pox. The Little Mermaid has crabs. And the Monorail? Mono.
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We don't do sensible things. This is America.
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Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'
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Newt Gingrich...is absolutely for bombing Iran and for lowering gas prices. And I've just to say, you can't be for both. They are diametrically opposed.
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Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America, except he has to show I.D. when he votes.
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It's all been satirized for your protection.
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In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of gay people in the Vatican, wouldn't there be a greater outcry among liberals?
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People like the Mormons and the Scientologists, who I think should combine and make a Mormontologist because what they believe is just so out there it's just laughable.
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Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow.
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I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, Life is precious. I think some life is precious, and some life is just a waste of protoplasm. Start over.
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher
In ancient times they sacrificed the virgins. Men were not about to sacrifice the sluts!
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It just seems like atheists are not included in the basket of diversity in America, which is odd because we are the biggest minority. That is a bigger minority than any other minority you can name.
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Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
Bill Maher
I love the Tea Party. They are the ultimate beer goggles. They make everything look better.
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Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
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