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Only a Bush could answer a 'yes' or 'no' question two different ways and be wrong both times.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Different
Bush
Way
Answer
Question
Answers
Ways
Wrong
Times
Two
More quotes by Bill Maher
John Kerry is finding out that it is no fun to be the front runner, that's when you get all the heat. He had to deny internet rumors this week that he had Botox treatments. The Republicans say Kerry should have a clear, unfurrowed brow the old fashioned way by not giving a sh--.
Bill Maher
The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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If conservatives don't want to be seen as bitter people who cling to their guns and religion and anti-immigrant sentiments, they should stop being bitter and clinging to their guns, religion and anti-immigrant sentiments.
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As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.
Bill Maher
I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people who are putting me on the air. I want to feel like I broke into the studio and took over and made them mad. If I'm not doing that, I'm not doing my job.
Bill Maher
My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!
Bill Maher
But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?
Bill Maher
I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, Life is precious. I think some life is precious, and some life is just a waste of protoplasm. Start over.
Bill Maher
The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
Bill Maher
I have two questions about Arnold Schwarzenegger. What does he know, and when will he know it?
Bill Maher
I urge the media to start referring to climate skeptics as what they really are: climate assholes.
Bill Maher
I'll clue you in on a secret: death is not the worst thing that could happen to you. I know we think that we are the first society ever to think that. It's not worse than dishonor it's not worse than losing your freedom its not worse than losing a sense of personal responsibility.
Bill Maher
In New York, Catholic groups have forced an art gallery to shut down an exhibition of a six-foot image of Jesus in chocolate. So, the Archbishop of New York was very upset. He said, 'It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.'
Bill Maher
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
Bill Maher
Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about...Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings, who don't have all the answers, to think that they do.
Bill Maher
The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.
Bill Maher
Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there...it can make it anywhere!'
Bill Maher
It's supposed to be a good thing that he's got this dialogue started. To me, I think, I just took away something bad from it, because, apparently he had to do this not to convince them of anything. To educate them.
Bill Maher
A lot of people say they are dyslexic some have to realize that they are just stupid.
Bill Maher
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
Bill Maher