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I don't understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Church
Understand
Infallible
Remind
Catholic
Police
More quotes by Bill Maher
New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: We go beyond the headlines. That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, We land our jets on the runway!
Bill Maher
I don't know if anybody from my tribe of atheists ever thanked [Barack Obama] for giving us a shout-out at your first inaugural, but you did mention non-believers. We appreciate it. Because we do feel like untouchables to a degree.
Bill Maher
Also, in the category of 'obvious but still shocking,' an animal called a 'killer whale' killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one knows exactly what enraged the whale, but earlier in the week, it had been thrown off a flight by Southwest Airlines.
Bill Maher
Jesus is not a candle. A company in South Dakota is selling candles with the scent of Jesus. You light one and your friends says, Christ, what's that smell?
Bill Maher
It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.
Bill Maher
Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover.
Bill Maher
It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.
Bill Maher
I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at a 'birther' hotel.
Bill Maher
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
Bill Maher
I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting who would vote for me?
Bill Maher
The Tea Baggers, they're not a movement, they're a cult.... Cults tend to populate from within, encouraging members to have huge broods of children and to give them strange names, like Moonbeam, and Trig.
Bill Maher
In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.
Bill Maher
That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.
Bill Maher
Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!
Bill Maher
To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge to the people out there that you put your faith in things that are unable to be proven - that you suspend critical thinking as the way to go.
Bill Maher
McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000 worth of clothes and jewelry on, no matter to the party of the little guy. But Cindy McCain talked about how his character, honor and integrity made him the exact kind of married man she was looking to pick up at a bar.
Bill Maher
One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
Bill Maher
The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
Bill Maher
The public is gullible. ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth.
Bill Maher
We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
Bill Maher