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It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Stills
Doe
Shrapnel
Still
Chuck
Littles
Roll
Body
Strange
Little
Guy
Never
Eye
War

More quotes by Bill Maher

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The Republican Party is like the corpse in 'Weekend at Bernies' and the Tea Party is like the two guys who put sunglasses and a party hat on it and drag it around.
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The plain fact is religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge in having key deciscions made by religious people. By irrationalists. By those who would steer the ship of state, not by a compass, but by the equivalent of reading the entrails of a chicken.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they'd said or did when they were in office.
Bill Maher
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America is like a dog. I'm sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can't actually explain issues to a dog.
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You know, the only place in America where the millionaires and billionaires are predominantly liberal is here in Hollywood.
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Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
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If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.
Bill Maher
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How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New York State by saying, 'I read books and make a mean vegan meatloaf.'
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I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good... They've midwived a lot of good ideas... lot of great songs, you know? I think Penny Lane is worth 10 dead kids... I think Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. There, I said it.
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The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
Bill Maher
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All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people to get worked up like that is to threaten to give them health care.
Bill Maher
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To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.
Bill Maher
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The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It's like a septic tank saying, 'You need a mint.'
Bill Maher
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To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
Bill Maher
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New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of every man for himself doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.
Bill Maher
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
Bill Maher
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Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.
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Love does not conquer all.
Bill Maher
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In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
Bill Maher