Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
It was quite a sight to see Obama next to President Hu. Obama has a Nobel Peace Prize in his basement, and Hu has a Nobel Peace Prize winner in his.
Bill Maher
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Next
Nobel
Prize
Winner
Obama
Sight
Quite
Peace
Basement
President
Basements
More quotes by Bill Maher
Stand-up is great because I can get everything off my chest.
Bill Maher
You can’t be a rational person six days a week and on one day of the week, go to a building, and think you are drinking the blood of a two thousand year old space god. That doesn’t make you a person of faith…, that makes you a schizophrenic.
Bill Maher
You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery...
Bill Maher
People like the Mormons and the Scientologists, who I think should combine and make a Mormontologist because what they believe is just so out there it's just laughable.
Bill Maher
Well, I hate to tell youbut if you have a flu shot for more than five years in a row, there's ten times the likelihood that you'll get Alzheimer's disease.
Bill Maher
Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don't pay attention.
Bill Maher
Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
Bill Maher
Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex.
Bill Maher
The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
Bill Maher
Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic.
Bill Maher
There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater.
Bill Maher
Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
Bill Maher
When we make mistakes they call it evil
Bill Maher
Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Bill Maher
Eunice Kennedy Shriver, President Kennedy's sister, endorsed Arnold Schwarzenegger, said he's not a womanizer. Of course by Kennedy standards that means he never drove one off a bridge.
Bill Maher
Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.
Bill Maher
The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.
Bill Maher
John McCain, who once called Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson 'forces of evil', has now come out for teaching intelligent design. That is sad, when smart people have to pretend to be so dumb to get elected.
Bill Maher
When you look at belief in such things - as do you go to heaven, is there a devil - we have more in common with (Muslin countries) Turkey and Iran and Syria than we do with European nations and Canada and nations that, yes, I would consider more enlightened that us.
Bill Maher
Dealing w/ Hamas is like dealing w/ a crazy woman who’s trying to kill u – u can only hold her wrists so long before you have to slap her.
Bill Maher