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I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant population, but they said they're happy to come home anyway.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Population
Leaving
Crumbling
Iraq
Guessing
Fun
Infrastructure
Happy
Soldiers
Home
Anyway
Come
Soldier
Country
Ignorant
More quotes by Bill Maher
The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you'll wind up with a lover.
Bill Maher
I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.
Bill Maher
The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.
Bill Maher
The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.
Bill Maher
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?
Bill Maher
40% of homicides go unsolved. You know, it's not a very good record. And, also, 95% of convictions in America come from plea bargaining, which is often coerced. It's like we have the worst of both worlds. We don't convict the guilty enough, and we coerce the innocent too much.
Bill Maher
In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.
Bill Maher
The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
Bill Maher
How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New York State by saying, 'I read books and make a mean vegan meatloaf.'
Bill Maher
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.
Bill Maher
I don't believe in a lot of things from the Bronze Age, but an eye for an eye does make a sort of symmetrical sense to me. I really believe that if somebody takes a life, that [death penalty] is what they should get. I also think it's a lot more humane than keeping people in a cage for the rest of their life.
Bill Maher
Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. We'll try to get you work. But don't bug us about it.
Bill Maher
If anybody is so mad at Vladimir Putin, you know what they could do? They could advocate for a gas tax. He gets all his leverage from selling gas and oil. If we had a gas tax that made that less palatable, he would be less of a player on the world stage.
Bill Maher
George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.
Bill Maher
John McCain, who once called Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson 'forces of evil', has now come out for teaching intelligent design. That is sad, when smart people have to pretend to be so dumb to get elected.
Bill Maher
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
Bill Maher
To those people who say, 'My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say, 'Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.' Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
Bill Maher
Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.
Bill Maher
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
Bill Maher
Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Bill Maher
