Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
Bill Maher
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Rooms
Emergencies
Strange
Intended
American
Primaries
Used
Primary
Care
Ass
Way
Object
Average
Freaky
Objects
Emergency
More quotes by Bill Maher
The politicians are no prizes, but the people are even worse, they're so ill-informed. I never understand the pushback when I say people are stupid.
Bill Maher
What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie.
Bill Maher
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, 'I want to help you get teeth.' Why does that make me an a**hole?
Bill Maher
Death is nature's way of killing you.
Bill Maher
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
Bill Maher
I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at a 'birther' hotel.
Bill Maher
I think religion is a neurological disorder.
Bill Maher
Obama has had more fundraisers than the last six presidents combined. And he's still losing in the money race!
Bill Maher
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
Bill Maher
Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
Bill Maher
Your fuselage shouldn't open more easily than your pretzel bag.
Bill Maher
Only cowards push a button from thousands of miles away, or tens of thousands of feet up, to kill people who can't possibly fight back.
Bill Maher
Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under.
Bill Maher
Why is Mitt Romney not bragging: 'I covered all these people'? Why can't the Democrats sell the idea, we're trying to make you well? Is that such a hard sale?
Bill Maher
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I'm not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they're anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they're anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they're super Christian, they're a witch.
Bill Maher
Osama bin Laden put out a new video. The timing of this video has some people upset, three days before we vote. It looks like he's trying to influence the election. And I'll tell you, it's not going to work. Americans know Osama bin Laden does not pick our president. The Supreme Court does.
Bill Maher
Well, I hate to tell youbut if you have a flu shot for more than five years in a row, there's ten times the likelihood that you'll get Alzheimer's disease.
Bill Maher
Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can`t all marry Liza Minnelli.
Bill Maher
It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.
Bill Maher
John McCain, who once called Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson 'forces of evil', has now come out for teaching intelligent design. That is sad, when smart people have to pretend to be so dumb to get elected.
Bill Maher