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In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Democrat
Vests
Thinks
Grabs
Calling
Rifle
Kill
Rifles
America
Orange
Even
Heads
Something
Liberal
Thinking
Woods
Vest

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Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.
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Next week John Boehner will be sitting behind Barack Obama at the State of the Union address. I think Obama should purposely try to embarrass him by telling the story of 'Old Yeller.' The state of our Union is strong, but not so good for one special dog.'
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You can’t be a rational person six days a week and on one day of the week, go to a building, and think you are drinking the blood of a two thousand year old space god. That doesn’t make you a person of faith…, that makes you a schizophrenic.
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We don't do sensible things. This is America.
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I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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You can't get saved if you don't play.
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I urge the media to start referring to climate skeptics as what they really are: climate assholes.
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Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.
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It's all been satirized for your protection.
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It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does.
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[George W. Bush] has balls. And he's a leader. Unfortunately his balls and leadership are in the service of shitty ideas. We need his balls on someone who thinks right.
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The president had a press conference about this this week and he said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. And then he added, 'Like having no plan ever stopped me before.'. He has something even more deadly in store for them - we're going to bring them democracy.
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I don't understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party.
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You can behead people, you can crucify them, you can cut their hearts out and eat them on YouTube...but, don't screw with the place where God hid America's oil.
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I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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The public is gullible. ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth.
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I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
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Religion is insanity by consensus.
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I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist.
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