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In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Thinks
Grabs
Calling
Rifle
Kill
Rifles
America
Orange
Even
Heads
Something
Liberal
Thinking
Woods
Vest
Democrat
Vests

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I never hear terrorists say 'Merry Christmas,' only 'Allahu Akbar'.
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Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.
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I'd just like to know what a cop WOULD have to do to get indicted - and what good are cop cameras since Eric Garner IS on tape?
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I believe only foreigners should run for president...Face it, the presidency is a lousy job. And who does lousy jobs we don't want anymore better than foreigners?
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Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.
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I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
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Let us not become so tolerant that we tolerate intolerance.
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Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America, except he has to show I.D. when he votes.
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Don't vote for Republicans or Democrats until they clean up the open system of bribery that we live under.
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My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!
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The media is all over this Oui interview that Arnold did 25 years ago. Now, he's admitted he smoked pot, had group sex and didn't mind dating a girl that was out of shape and kind of fat if she satisfied him sexually. So, his handlers have stopped comparing him to Reagan and started comparing him to Clinton.
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What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
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It's going to be Perry, it's going to be Romney...It's sort of a battle for the soul of the Republican Party - and they have no soul, but the space where a soul would be.
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This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
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Canadian bacon isn't bacon. It's ham.
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If anybody is so mad at Vladimir Putin, you know what they could do? They could advocate for a gas tax. He gets all his leverage from selling gas and oil. If we had a gas tax that made that less palatable, he would be less of a player on the world stage.
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The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don`t know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign affairs very much, unless it comes right to their doorstep. They all learn history through wars. They learn geography through wars.
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If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it proactive intelligence screening or high alert detecting, people would be saying Well, it's about time.
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Why can't God just defeat the devil and get rid of evil? It's the same reason the comic book character can't get rid of his nemesis then there's no story.
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