Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Death is the monster we all fear, yet with each day, we walk toward it, and can't help doing so we can't help but walk toward the one thing we're most trying to avoid.
Bill Maher
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Helping
Monsters
Thing
Avoid
Trying
Toward
Walk
Walks
Help
Fear
Death
Monster
More quotes by Bill Maher
Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.
Bill Maher
Clint Eastwood's speech was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican Party: A confused old person yelling at something that doesn't exist.
Bill Maher
Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
Bill Maher
The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
Bill Maher
African American Congressman Bobby Rush wore a hoodie on the floor of Congress to make a point this week. And they threw him out. They said a hoodie is too scary for Congress. Too scary? Have you ever looked into Michele Bachmann's eyes?
Bill Maher
Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting him in context.
Bill Maher
Recently, there's been a trend in America that I find very disturbing... rewarding immoral and illegal behavior...For example, we now give free needles to junkies, which seems to me to be only a step away from giving condoms to rapists.
Bill Maher
Being a conservative also used to involve the concept of people being free to do whatever they want to do, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. Conservatives used to be very libertarian.
Bill Maher
If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it proactive intelligence screening or high alert detecting, people would be saying Well, it's about time.
Bill Maher
The idea that I hear from the right wing in the last few decades, is that any sort of sacrifice is an affront to my liberty as an American to be a pig the way I want to.
Bill Maher
Greed can overtake smart.
Bill Maher
Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic.
Bill Maher
I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.
Bill Maher
Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
Bill Maher
The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
Bill Maher
That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight champion of my life.” Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car.
Bill Maher
I'm not a joiner. I don't like organizations.
Bill Maher
It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.
Bill Maher
Stop saying athletes do it for the love of the game. They do it for the love of their 32-room mansion with the live shark tank in the living room. If pro sports paid minimum wage, Shaquille O'Neal would be a bouncer at Scores, and Anna Kournikova would be a mail-order bride from Minsk.
Bill Maher
I hear a lot of talk today about xenophobia. Is it really phobia if you have something to be afraid of?
Bill Maher