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Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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More quotes by Bill Maher

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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don't call him stupid because they don't agree with you politically.
Bill Maher
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Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.
Bill Maher
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There's a new iPad out...People are going nuts for this thing...And, today, Mitt Romney said, 'It's a flat piece of white plastic. If you can love it, why not me?'
Bill Maher
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The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.
Bill Maher
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
Bill Maher
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If conservatives don't want to be seen as bitter people who cling to their guns and religion and anti-immigrant sentiments, they should stop being bitter and clinging to their guns, religion and anti-immigrant sentiments.
Bill Maher
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Donald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
Bill Maher
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Death is nature's way of killing you.
Bill Maher
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A group of Cuban Americans denounced the Castro government as a fascist regime that monitors and scrutinized its citizens' everyday existence. And then they excused themselves to go watch Big Brother.
Bill Maher
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end - and perhaps any day now - does it not drain one's motivation to improve life on earth while we're here?
Bill Maher
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They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
Bill Maher
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In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of gay people in the Vatican, wouldn't there be a greater outcry among liberals?
Bill Maher
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There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'
Bill Maher
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It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.
Bill Maher
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Mitt Romney we think is going run again. He says he has no plans to run, but he said if he did run, this time things would turn out differently. Yes they would. This time he would get his ass kicked by a woman.
Bill Maher
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So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.
Bill Maher
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I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit.
Bill Maher
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It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.
Bill Maher
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Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual in the priesthood it'll just go away. Maybe I'll try it with the Republican Party.
Bill Maher
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This is my question for conservatives: don't you want to live, too?
Bill Maher