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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Advantages
Atheism
Advantage
Takes
Religion
Littles
Little
Time
More quotes by Bill Maher
There's a phrase we live by in America: In God We Trust. It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
Bill Maher
But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?
Bill Maher
The car bomb was fertilizer, gasoline, fireworks and propane tanks...still safer than a Toyota.
Bill Maher
It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does.
Bill Maher
Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't vie CBS an idea for another reality show.
Bill Maher
Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth control.
Bill Maher
I said I didn't respect religion... and anyone who believes in fairy tales to answer questions that we can't answer... So I don't respect our religions either. But I do believe it is a clash of civilizations, absolutely, between the Islamic world and the Western world. It has been going on for 1,000 years.
Bill Maher
I think what's dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
Bill Maher
Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average American. He unveiled his slogan this week: 'Are you better off than you were four wives ago?'
Bill Maher
What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don't call him stupid because they don't agree with you politically.
Bill Maher
To paraphrase the great Will Rogers, El Rusho never met a pharmacist he did not like.
Bill Maher
Tt just seems to be human nature to seem to want to posit in another human being, qualities that you must know, in part of your mind, that human being couldn't possess because you don't possess.
Bill Maher
You can't get saved if you don't play.
Bill Maher
A cult is a cult, and that's what a frat is. A place where they strip you of your personality and rebuild it in their image.
Bill Maher
Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.
Bill Maher
It's been over a year since they've graduated, but neither of the Bush twins have found any work. Why don't they sign up (for military service in Iraq)? Do they hate America, or just freedom in general?
Bill Maher
Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
Bill Maher
Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
Bill Maher
Jesus, as a philosopher is wonderful. There's no greater role model, in my view, than Jesus Christ. It's just a shame that most of the people who follow him and call themselves Christians act nothing like him.
Bill Maher
Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and two: the power to make them disappear without a trial.
Bill Maher