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The Republican Party is like the corpse in 'Weekend at Bernies' and the Tea Party is like the two guys who put sunglasses and a party hat on it and drag it around.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Republican
Sunglasses
Guy
Corpse
Party
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Two
Tea
Around
Weekend
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Guys
More quotes by Bill Maher
Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.
Bill Maher
It somehow became an article of faith on the right that Obama is the most extreme president in American history. Although, when they say that, I think what they really mean is...he's black.
Bill Maher
To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge to the people out there that you put your faith in things that are unable to be proven - that you suspend critical thinking as the way to go.
Bill Maher
I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white people! I want to see this guy!
Bill Maher
Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
Bill Maher
The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
Bill Maher
Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
Bill Maher
Glenn Beck retired or got fired...and a lot of people are asking who will now speak for the raving lunatics who startle you outside of a parking garage?
Bill Maher
A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.
Bill Maher
I don't believe in a lot of things from the Bronze Age, but an eye for an eye does make a sort of symmetrical sense to me. I really believe that if somebody takes a life, that [death penalty] is what they should get. I also think it's a lot more humane than keeping people in a cage for the rest of their life.
Bill Maher
I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.
Bill Maher
Why can't God just defeat the devil and get rid of evil? It's the same reason the comic book character can't get rid of his nemesis then there's no story.
Bill Maher
People say to me all the time, I get my news from your show. And that isn't the way they should get their news. But the choice is not between getting their news the right way and getting their news from my show. The choice is that they won't get any at all unless you give it to them in an entertaining package.
Bill Maher
The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It's like a septic tank saying, 'You need a mint.'
Bill Maher
New polls show that Obama is now pulling away from Mitt Romney. And, of course, what could be more natural than to see Mitt Romney and pull away?
Bill Maher
In ancient times they sacrificed the virgins. Men were not about to sacrifice the sluts!
Bill Maher
I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit.
Bill Maher
Space tourism is God's way of telling you you aren't spending enough on lap dances, baccarat and cocaine.
Bill Maher
It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does.
Bill Maher
America is like a dog. I'm sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can't actually explain issues to a dog.
Bill Maher