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Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Ass
Doctor
Doctors
Asks
Getting
Right

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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.
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What is Kanye West's message? Like most rap, I am the greatest person ever and you're not. I used to call it affirmative action for the ego.
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I would rather put up with Rush Limbaugh and live in a country where we all do have freedom of speech.
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Ebola has arrived in New York City. And I say, 'if it can make it there...it can make it anywhere!'
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The people who got everything wrong are back on TV talking about the place they got all wrong? Cheney, Bill Kristol, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle. It's like Satan's VIP list for Hell.
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Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!
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It's all been satirized for your protection.
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I hate religion. I think it's a neurological disorder.
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People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an entertainment medium, it's not that either. It's an advertising medium. It's a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine.
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It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.
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I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
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A flu shot just compromises your immune system.
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Jesus is not a candle. A company in South Dakota is selling candles with the scent of Jesus. You light one and your friends says, Christ, what's that smell?
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Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking to God, they would call Bellevue. But, take away the hair dryer, it's just praying.'
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They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton.
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