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Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Ass
Doctor
Doctors
Asks
Getting
Right

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All I'm saying, as a fan, is I'm tired of the same song for 30 years. Can't we change the message a little? You've arrived. You have a black president. Every white guy in a commercial doesn't have to be the idiot and every black guy in a rap song doesn't have to be God's gift to the world.
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Hollywood isn't your cesspool, America. It's your mirror.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
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I think Democrats are complacent. They think that Russia is going to save us. Bob Mueller is going to come in with a report.
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I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting who would vote for me?
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A cult is a cult, and that's what a frat is. A place where they strip you of your personality and rebuild it in their image.
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Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer into piss that's what you are!
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I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
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It is appalling to make Jesus out of food! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go bake some communion wafers.
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Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.
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I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit.
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Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.
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When consumers know things, they tend to make informed choices, and that could affect corporate profits. I'm sorry, but your right to know is always going to be outweighed by their right to hide it from you.
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People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an entertainment medium, it's not that either. It's an advertising medium. It's a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine.
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Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.
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McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000 worth of clothes and jewelry on, no matter to the party of the little guy. But Cindy McCain talked about how his character, honor and integrity made him the exact kind of married man she was looking to pick up at a bar.
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If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.
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