Quote

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Bill Maher

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Much
Love
Like
Beatles
World
Treats
Dog
Home
Reason
Come

More quotes by Bill Maher

Image
Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'
Bill Maher
Image
March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'
Bill Maher
Image
Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America, except he has to show I.D. when he votes.
Bill Maher
Image
The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
Bill Maher
Image
Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?
Bill Maher
Image
Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
Bill Maher
Image
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
Bill Maher
Image
I never, ever in my life tried to be outrageous. I've only ever tried to say what was truly on my mind and not pull punches about it.
Bill Maher
Image
Being a conservative also used to involve the concept of people being free to do whatever they want to do, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. Conservatives used to be very libertarian.
Bill Maher
Image
Have you ever met a war you didn't love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
Bill Maher
Image
You can’t be a rational person six days a week and on one day of the week, go to a building, and think you are drinking the blood of a two thousand year old space god. That doesn’t make you a person of faith…, that makes you a schizophrenic.
Bill Maher
Image
Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you
Bill Maher
Image
That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.
Bill Maher
Image
Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.
Bill Maher
Image
Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage.
Bill Maher
Image
Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'
Bill Maher
Image
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher
Image
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
Bill Maher
Image
When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they'd said or did when they were in office.
Bill Maher
Image
Did you see Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards? I don't want to say that that performance was a disaster, but after the show, I saw Rudy Giuliani having his picture taken standing on her.
Bill Maher