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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
World
Treats
Dog
Home
Reason
Come
Much
Love
Like
Beatles

More quotes by Bill Maher

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What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie.
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I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
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Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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A lot of people say they are dyslexic some have to realize that they are just stupid.
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Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
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Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone. This is also why we love TV shows and movies that neatly wrap up everything in exactly an hour or two.
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
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Nobody in America who wants pot has any trouble getting it, so maybe that's why we aren't seeing support for legalization. People don't think it's necessary to legalize it, because it's so easy to get it.
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Just be happy that something traveled 5,000 miles across the Pacific and, for once, it wasn't your job.
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This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
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'The Lorax,'...it's a mythical, woodland creature, right, who's for saving trees. He speaks for the trees because no one else can. Kind of the way conservatives speak for fetuses.
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
Bill Maher
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There's a word the teabaggers have wanted to use since Obama came on the scene, but they can't because it's not the 1950s. They would love to say this word. It begins with an N and ends with -er, and it's not nation-builder.
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New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of every man for himself doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.
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Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
Bill Maher
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Just honest. To me, being 'politically incorrect' means the opposite of being political -- which means to spin everything. That's all it's ever meant to me. It's never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
Bill Maher
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
Bill Maher
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The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody in the media cheats off The New York Times.
Bill Maher