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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Believes
Path
Asks
Else
True
Believe
Life
Whats
More quotes by Bill Maher
The great thing about having been poor is how liberated it makes you if you eventually become rich. There's nothing like the knowledge that you don't need money to survive. That the money cushion you lie on every night doesn't have to be three feet thick, and you can still get to sleep.
Bill Maher
France... What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully-conceived and brilliantly-executed war in Iraq?
Bill Maher
New polls show that Obama is now pulling away from Mitt Romney. And, of course, what could be more natural than to see Mitt Romney and pull away?
Bill Maher
Don't you miss the days when America was just morally bankrupt?
Bill Maher
Osama bin Laden put out a new video. The timing of this video has some people upset, three days before we vote. It looks like he's trying to influence the election. And I'll tell you, it's not going to work. Americans know Osama bin Laden does not pick our president. The Supreme Court does.
Bill Maher
In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of gay people in the Vatican, wouldn't there be a greater outcry among liberals?
Bill Maher
In ancient times they sacrificed the virgins. Men were not about to sacrifice the sluts!
Bill Maher
Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.
Bill Maher
I'm not a joiner. I don't like organizations.
Bill Maher
We don't do sensible things. This is America.
Bill Maher
I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller country.
Bill Maher
40% of homicides go unsolved. You know, it's not a very good record. And, also, 95% of convictions in America come from plea bargaining, which is often coerced. It's like we have the worst of both worlds. We don't convict the guilty enough, and we coerce the innocent too much.
Bill Maher
That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.
Bill Maher
Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road... besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD.
Bill Maher
Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.
Bill Maher
I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same thing.
Bill Maher
At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
Bill Maher
Hillary Clinton and Nancy Reagan have a lot in common - they're both smarter than their husbands and both consulted the stars for guidance, Nancy with astrology and Hillary with Barbra Streisand.
Bill Maher
We survived the 1980's. Back then, the economic program was called 'trickle down.' That actually meant they were pissing on you. How the whole theory goes was this: 'We have all the money. If we drop some, it's yours. Go for it.'
Bill Maher
Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'
Bill Maher