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The NYPD must stop acting like the only thing black people do is run from them and shoot at them. Believe it or not there are some black New Yorkers who won't run and can't shoot -- they're called the # Knicks .
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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More quotes by Bill Maher
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Bill Maher
Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control, you are birth control.
Bill Maher
Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times.
Bill Maher
We don't do sensible things. This is America.
Bill Maher
I don't say that I'm an atheist. I don't like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don't know. And if you don't know - and you don't - just man up and say you don't know. Don't turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
Bill Maher
The Hollywood executives are, like, ‘We’re not racist, we just have to pretend to be racists because we’re capitalists. We want to sell our movies in China (and) they don’t like Kevin Hart.’
Bill Maher
To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.
Bill Maher
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.
Bill Maher
I think the news people no longer have any idea of what covering the news is.
Bill Maher
If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.
Bill Maher
A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless photo of himself. He lied about his age and his marital status. He said he was 39 and divorced. He's 46 and married, though being a Republican congressman, I'm guessing he's really 60 and gay.
Bill Maher
I'm worried about a permanent Republican majority. That's what I'm worried about for the future.
Bill Maher
Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
Bill Maher
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
Bill Maher
That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, 'She is the heavyweight champion of my life.” Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car.
Bill Maher
Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what's ruining this country.'
Bill Maher
John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was about the troops. ... Now, John Kerry has apologized. He said he made a botched joke and admitted that he has a joking problem. He has checked into an improv group and revealed that as a child, he was molested by a clown.
Bill Maher
Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.
Bill Maher
If nobody is clear on what you're protesting, it's not a protest. Thousands of people gathered in London this week to voice their disapproval of the G-20. Their basic message being, Stop all your globalizing and unite the world!
Bill Maher
Catholicism has changed tremendously in recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.
Bill Maher