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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Necessary
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More quotes by Bill Maher
The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
Bill Maher
I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people who are putting me on the air. I want to feel like I broke into the studio and took over and made them mad. If I'm not doing that, I'm not doing my job.
Bill Maher
I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?
Bill Maher
I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
Bill Maher
Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard any politician say. She said, 'The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.' You think she realizes that nuking Russia might not be good for someone who can see Russia from her house?
Bill Maher
We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
Bill Maher
John McCain, who once called Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson 'forces of evil', has now come out for teaching intelligent design. That is sad, when smart people have to pretend to be so dumb to get elected.
Bill Maher
The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was 'collecting his thoughts.' What a time to start a new hobby.'
Bill Maher
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.
Bill Maher
I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?
Bill Maher
You can't lie to kids about drugs. They know about drugs. You can't say they're just all bad. They know life is a little more complicated. I have never done heroin. I would never recommend heroin, but it hasn't hurt my record collection.
Bill Maher
I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, Life is precious. I think some life is precious, and some life is just a waste of protoplasm. Start over.
Bill Maher
Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.
Bill Maher
Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.
Bill Maher
Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion budget deficit, without cutting spending or raising taxes because there was a third way. What is it? Let's just say it involves a robot going back in time to convince Gray Davis to go into dentistry.
Bill Maher
Clint Eastwood's speech was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican Party: A confused old person yelling at something that doesn't exist.
Bill Maher
Religion is bad and drugs are good.
Bill Maher
I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist.
Bill Maher
I think the news people no longer have any idea of what covering the news is.
Bill Maher
you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!
Bill Maher