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Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Penalty
Penalties
Intelligent
Sex
Easy
Kids

More quotes by Bill Maher

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Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about a kid with a cleft palate. And John McCain told how he once carried a brain dead woman through an entire campaign.
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I don't do heroin myself, but it's done wonders for my music collection.
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They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton.
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Obama has had more fundraisers than the last six presidents combined. And he's still losing in the money race!
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There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater.
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Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
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Whoever needs the relationship less has all the power.
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Ronald Reagan basically legalized every illegal immigrant in this country. I just like to bring this up because every week I like to make Republican heads explode about how they love Ronald Reagan, but would despise everything he did.
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The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
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Eell there always is a tendency in human nature to deify.
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You can't get saved if you don't play.
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I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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It's all been satirized for your protection.
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It's a little strange when you have never been to war, and you eye-roll about a guy who's got shrapnel still in his body, as Chuck Hagel does.
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Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average American. He unveiled his slogan this week: 'Are you better off than you were four wives ago?'
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New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of every man for himself doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.
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Greed can overtake smart.
Bill Maher
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If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
Bill Maher
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McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000 worth of clothes and jewelry on, no matter to the party of the little guy. But Cindy McCain talked about how his character, honor and integrity made him the exact kind of married man she was looking to pick up at a bar.
Bill Maher
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Meat is dirty. I wouldn't touch a hot dog without a condom on it
Bill Maher