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We've created over 200,000 jobs every month this year. Hasn't happened in 17 years. I guess my first question is, when do the Republicans stop calling it 'Obama's economy'?

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
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Television Producer
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New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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More quotes by Bill Maher

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New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the same 'What part of freedom don't you get, you morons?'. I'll answer that for you Mr. President. The part where you give it to people by blowing them up.
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Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away.
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I think we need to change that old saying, I don't need a building to fall on me. Because two did and we still don't get it. I think we all stick our head in the sand as a deep human impulse.
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This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
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If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.
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The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
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Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortions to back alleys where it belongs, my work here is done.' I think that's what he said, he was chewing a crayon.
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We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
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I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.
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This is my question for conservatives: don't you want to live, too?
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During the debate, Bush was asked by a lady to name three mistakes he's made. And Bush responded, this debate, the last debate and the next debate.
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I don't understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
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Community is gathering around a fire and listening to someone tell a story.
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
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Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what's ruining this country.'
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It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.
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The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
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Whoever needs the relationship less has all the power.
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Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting him in context.
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