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We've created over 200,000 jobs every month this year. Hasn't happened in 17 years. I guess my first question is, when do the Republicans stop calling it 'Obama's economy'?

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
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Film Producer
Journalist
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Television Presenter
Television Producer
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New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.
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What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down, but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally.
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How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New York State by saying, 'I read books and make a mean vegan meatloaf.'
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New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of every man for himself doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee.
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McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000 worth of clothes and jewelry on, no matter to the party of the little guy. But Cindy McCain talked about how his character, honor and integrity made him the exact kind of married man she was looking to pick up at a bar.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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March Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'
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The media is all over this Oui interview that Arnold did 25 years ago. Now, he's admitted he smoked pot, had group sex and didn't mind dating a girl that was out of shape and kind of fat if she satisfied him sexually. So, his handlers have stopped comparing him to Reagan and started comparing him to Clinton.
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The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody in the media cheats off The New York Times.
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Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white people, and if you had to have sex with them it would be over in an excruciating three minutes. It's just, - and from the headlines of the past year I gather the only sex they're really good at, is gay sex. Really.
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New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the same 'What part of freedom don't you get, you morons?'. I'll answer that for you Mr. President. The part where you give it to people by blowing them up.
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Mitt Romney we think is going run again. He says he has no plans to run, but he said if he did run, this time things would turn out differently. Yes they would. This time he would get his ass kicked by a woman.
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What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'?
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I think Democrats are complacent. They think that Russia is going to save us. Bob Mueller is going to come in with a report.
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Stupidity is not another form of knowledge.
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A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.
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This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air.
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Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school.
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I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to Al-Quaeda, we want to know what it's about,' it just proves one thing: If you're president long enough, you will one day say something that is true.
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Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.
Bill Maher