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This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Children
Needs
Hot
Car
Leave
Full
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More quotes by Bill Maher

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I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody in the media cheats off The New York Times.
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I'm worried about a permanent Republican majority. That's what I'm worried about for the future.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.
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We've created over 200,000 jobs every month this year. Hasn't happened in 17 years. I guess my first question is, when do the Republicans stop calling it 'Obama's economy'?
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A lot of people say they are dyslexic some have to realize that they are just stupid.
Bill Maher
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What does it take for Republicans to take off the flag pin and say, 'I am just too embarrassed to be on this team'?
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I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit.
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A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.
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People like the Mormons and the Scientologists, who I think should combine and make a Mormontologist because what they believe is just so out there it's just laughable.
Bill Maher
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It's supposed to be a good thing that he's got this dialogue started. To me, I think, I just took away something bad from it, because, apparently he had to do this not to convince them of anything. To educate them.
Bill Maher
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We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies.
Bill Maher
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It just seems like the culture war is over, and the gay kissers won.
Bill Maher
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Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white people, and if you had to have sex with them it would be over in an excruciating three minutes. It's just, - and from the headlines of the past year I gather the only sex they're really good at, is gay sex. Really.
Bill Maher
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I don't say that I'm an atheist. I don't like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don't know. And if you don't know - and you don't - just man up and say you don't know. Don't turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
Bill Maher
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Do you think it's possible that when we're on something like marijuana or mushrooms and we believe we're having a really spiritual experience that we're just high?
Bill Maher
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Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual in the priesthood it'll just go away. Maybe I'll try it with the Republican Party.
Bill Maher
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
Bill Maher
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If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.
Bill Maher
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Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking to God, they would call Bellevue. But, take away the hair dryer, it's just praying.'
Bill Maher