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Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times.

Bill Maher

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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
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Never
Tried
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Marijuana

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You can't get saved if you don't play.
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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
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I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller country.
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There's a word the teabaggers have wanted to use since Obama came on the scene, but they can't because it's not the 1950s. They would love to say this word. It begins with an N and ends with -er, and it's not nation-builder.
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Gingrich is the foremost intellectual in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in Kiss.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don't. I wish everyone agreed with me it would save a lot of time.
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I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.
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You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery...
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There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'
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The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it.
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Since the Icelandic volcano obviously needs a virgin sacrifice and the Catholic Church obviously needs new leadership the Pope must volunteer to jump in the volcano. Pontiff, don't think of it as endorsing paganism, think of it as supersizing Ash Wednesday.
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In ancient times they sacrificed the virgins. Men were not about to sacrifice the sluts!
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To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer to us as 'Irish relatives.'
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Thanks [Donald] Trump for exposing evangelicals as 'shameless hypocrites'.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?
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Americans are desperately, here on the West Coast, buying up and hoarding iodine pills... Isn't it great that in a land that is divided between conservative morons and liberal pussies, somehow we have managed to find a way to pull together and behave like moronic pussies?
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Glenn Beck retired or got fired...and a lot of people are asking who will now speak for the raving lunatics who startle you outside of a parking garage?
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Death is the monster we all fear, yet with each day, we walk toward it, and can't help doing so we can't help but walk toward the one thing we're most trying to avoid.
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Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.
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