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I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Less
Religion
Jesus
Christian
Christians
Like
Atheist
Atheism
Anyone
More quotes by Bill Maher
Shouldn't we be against procreation at this point in time? With overpopulation and the strain on the resources on this planet? Shouldn't we reward people who don't spawn?
Bill Maher
When those myths were created, when the Bible was written, man didn't know what an atom or a germ was, or where the sun went at night, or why the women got pregnant. [Laughs.] They needed stories to answer the questions.
Bill Maher
My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp!
Bill Maher
I don't respect religon. I don't respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
Bill Maher
The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality.
Bill Maher
Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.
Bill Maher
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a silver platter.
Bill Maher
They are having a panel look into the intelligence failures in Iraq. It is a seven-person panel and it will include Senator John McCain, but the findings from this panel will not be issued until after the election. President Bush says the commission can go off and report back in a year, you know, the same way it works in the Texas National Guard.
Bill Maher
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
Bill Maher
If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'
Bill Maher
The politicians are no prizes, but the people are even worse, they're so ill-informed. I never understand the pushback when I say people are stupid.
Bill Maher
All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people to get worked up like that is to threaten to give them health care.
Bill Maher
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
Bill Maher
The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't it the patriot who sides with America before he sides with the Republicans?
Bill Maher
Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what's ruining this country.'
Bill Maher
The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick.
Bill Maher
There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.
Bill Maher
People like the Mormons and the Scientologists, who I think should combine and make a Mormontologist because what they believe is just so out there it's just laughable.
Bill Maher
People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning.
Bill Maher
I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit.
Bill Maher
