Quote

There's a phrase we live by in America: In God We Trust. It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.

Bill Maher

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Would
Atheism
Trust
Jesus
Funny
Money
Agnostic
America
Phrase
Live
Phrases
Right
Atheist

More quotes by Bill Maher

Image
As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.
Bill Maher
Image
Their [Republicans] approach to a woman's body is the same as their approach to the economy: they have no idea how it works, but they're eager to screw with it anyway.
Bill Maher
Image
How can the Republicans get away with picking their Dennis Kucinich, but when - if the Democrats tried it, all hell would break lose?
Bill Maher
Image
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies.
Bill Maher
Image
The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody in the media cheats off The New York Times.
Bill Maher
Image
Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.
Bill Maher
Image
If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'
Bill Maher
Image
They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton.
Bill Maher
Image
Republicans have become the party of red, white and blue rose colored glasses. By drowning out criticism with USA! USA!, they prevent this country from healing itself where it needs healing, and that is the opposite of Country First.
Bill Maher
Image
I don't know if [Barack Obama] saw the latest religion survey, but almost a quarter of the country are Nones. I don't mean the ones who hit me on the knuckles with a ruler in Sunday School - I mean they put None for religion.
Bill Maher
Image
Herman Cain answered the Wall Street protesters, and he had a message for these protesters. He said, 'If you don't have a job, if you're not rich, don't blame Wall Street, don't blame the banks, blame yourself.' And a nation of out of work teabaggers said, 'Yeah! Hey, wait a minute.'
Bill Maher
Image
Being a conservative also used to involve the concept of people being free to do whatever they want to do, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. Conservatives used to be very libertarian.
Bill Maher
Image
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
Bill Maher
Image
Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we're someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
Bill Maher
Image
I never, ever in my life tried to be outrageous. I've only ever tried to say what was truly on my mind and not pull punches about it.
Bill Maher
Image
Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow.
Bill Maher
Image
Do you want to know why marijuana is illegal? Because the drug companies want marijuana to be illegal. You see, if it came down to Prozak versus Marijuana, Prozak would lose.
Bill Maher
Image
Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass, and it translate to beef with broccoli. The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
Bill Maher
Image
When the tabloids photograph me when I'm out, I always say: You know what, folks? I'm not married and I'm not gay. You caught me with a hot chick. You got me. Take me to hot-chick jail. Did it again. Guilty.
Bill Maher
Image
Gingrich is the foremost intellectual in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in Kiss.
Bill Maher