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Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Secret
Muslim
Obama
Republican
More quotes by Bill Maher
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.
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A president can be unpopular for good reasons. You know, I'm not always on the side that the people are right, for God's sake. But, you know, he's not popular when he goes overseas. He couldn't go to Rosa Parks' funeral.
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you'll wind up with a lover.
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So when I say we had been the cowards, yes, that's what I meant, we as a society. And that's everybody, including myself. I had been screaming about the drug war and this war and other wars. I should have been more on terrorism, too. So should you, so should everybody.
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Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic.
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People say to me all the time, I get my news from your show. And that isn't the way they should get their news. But the choice is not between getting their news the right way and getting their news from my show. The choice is that they won't get any at all unless you give it to them in an entertaining package.
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To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.
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This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car.
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Have you ever met a war you didn't love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't be destroyed, then implant one in your uterus and bring it to term. That's right, put your cervix where your mouth is.
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I'm a pessimist by nature. A pot head, but a pessimist.
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New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: We go beyond the headlines. That's your job, dummy. You don't see American Airlines saying, We land our jets on the runway!
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The Senate decided they will be smoke-free. They ordained that all public areas in the Senate are now smoke-free. However, the senators themselves will still be allowed to blow smoke up each other's asses.
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I would rather put up with Rush Limbaugh and live in a country where we all do have freedom of speech.
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The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
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There are only three ways a congressman goes out: They die in office, they cash in as a lobbyist, or they mistakenly tweet a picture of their d*ck.
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New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the same 'What part of freedom don't you get, you morons?'. I'll answer that for you Mr. President. The part where you give it to people by blowing them up.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.
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I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?
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It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.
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