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Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage.
Bill Maher
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Bill Maher
Age: 68
Born: 1956
Born: January 20
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
New York City
New York
William Maher Jr.
William Maher
Marriage
Taking
Tiger
Health
Tigers
Care
Republicans
Wells
Woods
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More quotes by Bill Maher
You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing.
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This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.
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Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, 'White people's problems.'
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I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortions to back alleys where it belongs, my work here is done.' I think that's what he said, he was chewing a crayon.
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The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he'd have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
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The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.
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In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of gay people in the Vatican, wouldn't there be a greater outcry among liberals?
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I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist.
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Don't you miss the days when America was just morally bankrupt?
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All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people to get worked up like that is to threaten to give them health care.
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We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.
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Eunice Kennedy Shriver, President Kennedy's sister, endorsed Arnold Schwarzenegger, said he's not a womanizer. Of course by Kennedy standards that means he never drove one off a bridge.
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The president had a press conference about this this week and he said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. And then he added, 'Like having no plan ever stopped me before.'. He has something even more deadly in store for them - we're going to bring them democracy.
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Why is Mitt Romney not bragging: 'I covered all these people'? Why can't the Democrats sell the idea, we're trying to make you well? Is that such a hard sale?
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I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.
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The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.
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I don't do heroin myself, but it's done wonders for my music collection.
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